Don’t Shrink Me (Shrink Me Please!!)

“Don’t shrink me, please” really means “shrink me, please.” Ever been in that situation where your hot (but a bit bratty) girlfriend and her equally sizzling (and yet even more bratty) best friend are upstairs perfecting their new magic shrink spell and you say to yourself, “Hey! Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to be shrunken and tiny for a day?”

Sure! We ALL have, but you just can’t come out and demand to be shrunk, can you? You’ll look like a deranged lunatic. Besides, women, especially the sexy and a bit bratty ones, are notorious for doing the complete opposite of anything you actually want. Solution? Simple. Play hard-to-shrink. The more you appear not to want it, the more likely that her and her friend will be to shrink you. The more you genuinely protest, the smaller and more ant-like they’re likely to make you.

How to Make it Happen While Pretending You Don’t Want It

Let me note that these tips may lead to your quick demise so use at your own risk. First, you have to get their attention. Go up there and interrupt them right at a crucial moment. Women HATE to be interrupted. Catch them talking about clothes? OK. Catch them in the middle of a good gossip about their slutty friend? BETTER.

Some of the more hot-tempered types may even shrink you right then on the spot. Next, pretend to not have a clue about or care in any way about what they’re doing. Be extra badgering about it. Purposely not pay attention when they give you the slightest hint about their secret project. The more you feign disinterest, the more likely they are to show you EXACTLY what they are up to.

At some point they will tease a juicy reveal of their little shrinking secret just to gauge your level of shock. Scoff at them. Be an ass. Ridicule a bit. Remember inflammatory phrases designed to provoke a shrinking reaction such as, “Oh yeah? Sounds dumb to me. I bet you two couldn’t shrink a flea.”

Whatever you do, DO NOT forget to find a way to make your girlfriend jealous. Tell her you’re going out. Drop an ex-girlfriend’s name. Be annoyingly vague. “Nicole asked me to come over to help her with her car and stuff.” At this point you are GUARANTEED to be shrunk down to at least the size of a Teddy bear just so you can be taught a little respect. Don’t stop there! You are ALMOST all the way home to towering hot girl-on-girl mountain-sized boobie-climbing land!

You Couldn’t Shrink Me If You Tried!

PROTEST at being shrunk. Loudly, try to sound manly, and say it as often as possible. Strut around. Stomp. If they even think for a moment that you may be enjoying yourself then it’ll be over faster than you can say tiny-man nipple-dangling.

Get them to giggle, this usually means they are planning to do something rather horrible to you! Cross your arms defiantly. Shake your fist. Make a few hollow threats. Offering to spank them is good and may even net you a flash of perky giantess ass as they tease you that you can’t even reach that high anymore.

Now for the final lesson. With this advanced strategy you are guaranteed to wind up staring at a moon-sized Eye from the plateau of Her soft, creamy beach-like palm. No matter how curvaceous or well-endowed your girlfriend or her best friend are, no matter how men ogle at them in tight t-shirts, use the following phase: “Honey, you may have made me small, but even from down here your tits STILL look like itty-bitty grapes to me.” Brace yourself! After those last words you are about to see eyes fill with flames and hear magic chanting (followed possibly by not-so-magic stomping.)

Getting What You Wanted and Keeping It

When all is said and done and the magic mists of the incantation clear, before you should be standing two skyscraper sized Goddesses who are more than eager to show you the error of your male, egotistical ways. Remember at this size you are a tad vulnerable. When you see foot-shaped shadows descending about you, be nimble. Run. You may need to buy your bug-like life valuable seconds of time while you think of you next plan for survival.

Now you are wondering how do I stay this small, or smaller? If your two gorgeous Goddesses aren’t having hot, lesbian sex with you perched on the tips of their intertwined tongues, you aren’t through yet! Protest a lot. Threaten. Demand to be made big again. If she thinks you’re not enjoying yourself, you may stay that way for hours, days even.

Be a tad condescending. Let them know how “cute” you think their little spell is. With these quick tips the three of you should be ready for hours of fun. Remember this is all about entertaining your Giantess and any frantic efforts to not die while small will entertain many a giantess and surely help you to stay a tiny man for long enough to almost enjoy yourself too, if they don’t lock you in a jar or stomp you first!