Shrunken Man Stories: Perils of Dating a Scientist

 

Damn her! I woke up this morning, a shrunken man in a fish tank! A fish tank! And I know just who is to blame! My girlfriend is a chemist and she’s been telling me for weeks that she’s working on this shrinking potion so she can shrink me and put me in her purse or her shoe. I guess she did it. Now she’s a Giantess and I’m a shrunken man! I didn’t think she was serious until I woke up this morning staring into the huge eyes of Fluffy, our cat.

At first I thought it was a vibrating demon until I realized it was a purring Fluffy wanting to bat me around like one of her plastic play toys. I got my shit together fast and it dawned on me that she had emptied out the fish tank, shrank me and put me down onto the still wet, bright blue gravel. As Fluffy reached down into the tank to bat at me with her huge claws out, I leapt up and ran to hide behind the little, or should I say big, fake plant that used to house a large snail in our fish tank. I thought I was a goner when Fluffy heard a noise from somewhere and went to investigate. So I at least had a moment to assess my strange, new situation.

My girlfriend has always been a control freak with a mean streak. I love the way she insists on dominated me in the bedroom, but sometimes she goes too far with the dirty tricks. And this, by far, was her dirtiest trick ever. I’ve often thought of leaving her, especially because I’m usually her victim, and I would leave her if she wasn’t so addictive sexually.

As I said, she is a chemist (and obviously a very good chemist) and I am studying medicine. We get along great, most of the time. She and I have been together for a couple of years and jointly own a house. We have been toying with the idea of getting married, but now that I’m, oh let’s say 12 inches tall, there may be a stumbling block to matrimony. But marrying the bitch that turned me into a shrunken man was the last thing on my mind right now.

 

Shrunken Man Stories: Getting Out

 

I looked around the fish tank for my next plausible move. I see that she’s left the ladder from a doll house propped up against one of the glass sides. How sweet of her to want to help me to escape. I take a step towards it and then think twice. Maybe I was safer staying in here. Maybe getting out was what she wanted me to do and there was a trap waiting for me. But then I thought of the cat and how she could come back at any moment and knew I had to do something.

I saw doll clothes that would usually be the side of my hand stacked beside the ladder. Now they were my size. She didn’t want me to be running around the house being a tiny shrunken man AND being naked, at least. I slipped on the clothes, which were very cheaply made. Why? Because they were never really meant to be worn by a human that was walking around, that’s why! Imagine that! Now that I was sort of dressed, I could tackle the ladder and after that, what lay beyond the fish tank.

The ladder was great except that it didn’t reach the top of the tank. Luckily, I could extend my arms and grab the top edge. I had to use my arms and pull myself out the rest of the way, praying my feet didn’t slip on the slick glass. I stood on the edge of the tank, thrilled that I had gotten out when I realized that I was going to have to jump down because there was no ladder on the other side. Shit. I looked around for another solution. Then I saw that she had put a shoe box on a folding table right next to the tank. I could easily jump from the edge of the tank to the shoe box to the folding table. Then maybe I could jump to the couch…maybe. Then….where will I go? I didn’t know.

 

Caught Escaping

 

Trouble was the folding table and shoebox were both at the opposite end of the tank. From where I was standing, there was nothing but a four foot drop to the tile floor below. So I slowly worked my way around the edge, praying that my balance was good around the narrow ledge. Then I was there and I jumped on the shoebox and then to the folding table.

Then I felt her grab me around the waist and I’m flying through the air and unceremoniously dumped back in the fish tank. I am once again a shrunken man stuck in a fish tank… probably forever! What am I going to do now?

 

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